Stop Suffering In Silence: Redefining Strength

Maybe you’ve started pulling back. Maybe you’re doing less than before. But there’s still a part of you that feels responsible for holding it all together.

In this episode of Trusting Her Journey, we’re talking about the silent ways strong women keep proving they’re okay, even when they’re not.
We unpack what real support looks like, why asking for help feels harder than it should, and how fear of being a burden keeps so many women locked in self-reliance.

Strength isn’t silence. And support doesn’t make you weak.
Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is let someone help.

What We Talk About:
•The real reason “I’m good” is your default (even when you’re not)
•How strength becomes a mask instead of a support system
•The deeper fears underneath asking for help: rejection, disappointment, being “too much”
•What to do when you've been let down before
•How to practice receiving without guilt, shame, or overexplaining
•Why support starts with you
•A new way to think about strength in this season

✨ Fuel for the Road Ahead:
You weren’t meant to carry it all by yourself. Strength isn’t just pushing through, it’s learning when to receive. Let people love you. Let God hold on to what’s been weighing on you.

Journal prompt: Where in your life have you been disappointed or felt rejected, even when you really needed support?

That question might be uncomfortable. But you deserve to tell the truth about the hurt you’ve experienced, and still decide to keep your heart open to help.

💡 One Small Step:
This week, say yes to one small offer of help.
Let someone check in on you. Drop something off. Speak life over you.
Whatever it is, receive it without apologizing, downplaying it, or trying to repay it. Just receive it. You deserve that kind of support too.

New episodes drop every week.

🔗 Resources & Announcements

We’re building a supportive online community.
Stay tuned for ways to connect with us off the podcast and meet other listeners on the journey.

Let’s Stay Connected

Follow the show on Instagram → @trustingherjourneypodcast
Follow Felicia → @soulguidedhealing_wellness
Follow Christalyn → @christalynthecounselor

Tap Follow wherever you listen so you never miss an episode.

Got a topic you’d love us to cover, or a story to share?
Email us: hello@trustingherjourney.com

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs it.

Looking for Therapy?

Christalyn is a Licensed Professional Counselor in South Carolina. She offers faith-integrated therapy for women navigating burnout, boundaries, and emotional exhaustion.
→ carolinacounselingsc.com

Felicia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Virginia, Georgia, and Texas,  She provides trauma-informed, somatic-based therapy for women ready to heal and reconnect with themselves.
→ soulguidedhealing...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Why do you think that you're supposed to carry all of this by yourself when you have people who got placed in your life to help you carry whatever burdens it may be, whatever worries, whatever problems that you are processing? And even just like the joy and the good things, you have these people here for a reason. So stop trying to carry the load on your own. Welcome to the Trust in Her Journey podcast. I'm Felicia.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

And I'm Krystalyn.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

This podcast is a safe space for women who are carrying a lot. Women who are trying to trust themselves again while managing the weight of their roles and responsibilities.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

We know what it's like to feel stretched thin because you're constantly showing up for everyone and putting your own needs last. Here, we have honest conversations about the silent struggles many women face.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

We're so glad you're here. In every episode, we'll talk about the real challenges women navigate, whether it's juggling work and family, carving out time for yourself or learning to trust your instincts again.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

You'll hear us share personal stories and lessons from our experience to help you trust your path and rethink what peace and balance actually looks like for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Our goal is to guide you through the hard moments with honest conversations about boundaries, self-care and leaning on your faith for strength.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, unseen, or unsure about how to care for yourself while caring for everyone else, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Just a quick heads up, this podcast isn't a substitute for working with a licensed counselor or therapist, but don't worry, if you need that kind of support, we've got some resources for you in the show notes. Let's start the conversation. Welcome back to Trusting Her Journey. We're so glad you're here. Hey, y'all. Hope everybody

SPEAKER_01 1:58

is doing well. Before we jump in, though, I got to see how my girl Felicia is doing. I'm doing good. How are you doing? I'm doing well. Surprisingly, lots of energy on this lovely evening. I

SPEAKER_00 2:11

know. I feel like I drunk a Red Bull and I don't even drink those things. So I don't know where this energy coming from. I think it's the vibe. You know, we created a vibe. We always have a good time when we come together. So I think it's just the energy we flow off of one another. Yes,

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I agree. So, you know, last week we talked about what it means to be strong, what it means to be the strong one, the strong friend, the strong sister, the strong wife. And um we also talked about how exhausting that can be

SPEAKER_00 2:47

yeah

SPEAKER_01 2:48

how exhausting it can be to try to hold all the things for everyone so if you have a listen to the episode please go back and listen check it out and let us know what you think today our conversation is moving into part two which is going to be um i think really helpful for listeners and a good reminder for us as well felicia um what does real support actually look like when you've been taught to carry everything on your own or alone. And basically what we want to talk to our listeners about is how we can all practice being strong in a new way, in a different way.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah, I agree. And I mean, if we can be really honest with ourselves, many of us don't don't even know how to receive help. So we don't ask, even when someone offers, you know, we say things like I'm good. One of my favorite lines that should not be a favorite line is I got this. And I think a lot of times we do that without even thinking about it. It's just like a natural response because we don't, are used to saying I'm good or we're used to figuring things out on our own. So even if it's not what we want to say, it just naturally flows because as we mentioned in the last episode, it's a part of our identity now and how we show up. So yes, we're, we're talking about the ways we can kind of move beyond that and reframe and show up in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah, I know I shared that for some of us, we wear our strength like a badge of honor or a cape. depending on, you know, the person. And I think I wouldn't be honest if I said, like, there is not a sense of pride that comes with, or that comes from being able to show up for the people you care about. Sometimes even being the one to help them to fix an issue or solve a problem. And then for others of us who have just had the responsibility, sometimes the sole responsibility of doing all the things, it's not even about pride. It's about survival. I have to get this thing done, get all the things done. We are used to being the ones to manage it all, fix it all, being in charge, or as my siblings would say, being the boss. Crystal, you're used to being the boss. So doing all the things, helping is what feels natural, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:38

to

SPEAKER_01 5:39

us I hesitate to say that because then there's a part of me that feels like wow if I'm not helping if I'm not doing all the things then and I know I would love for our listeners to let us know what they think but if you're not helping you you're not doing all the things then what are you doing how are you spending your time um And when you are struggling and there are people who are asking you, how are you doing? How can I help you? What do you need? Does it feel foreign to you to acknowledge that? Oh, yeah, I do need some help. Oh, no, I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't have it all together. I don't have it all figured out.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

Yeah, no, I agree. You know, I think something that we have to acknowledge, even when we think about, you helping reframe strength and asking for help or receiving help, we have to name what may be present. I should say for some of our listeners or even for our own experience, I think that there's just a fear underneath asking for help or even receiving help because there's a space where we may have questions like, okay, what if I do ask somebody for help? And then they disappoint me. They don't show up. They don't follow through or they have, that's another one. They say no, or they don't put all their effort into it. I think the other part could, or another fear could be like, what if I'm seen as a burden? I don't know anyone in this world who wants to feel as if they are a burden to someone else. And a lot of times what we hear is like, so many people have their own things going on. So why am I going to add to the things that they're trying to deal with or the problems that they're trying to solve? So I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be worsome. I don't want to be that person that they're like, oh, Felicia coming over here asking for help again. What does she need now? You know, like, here she go again. What is it now? You know, so I think that that fear is present. And then, you know, again, another one, which we kind of touched on this in the last episode is like, if I ask for help, how will people see me now? Will I be seen as weak or, you know, will they even show up for me? Because I'm, I'm used to the way that people show up or they rally around me when I'm the strong one. When I have all of the things together, I'm, holding it down, leading, you know, supporting, lending advice, lending help. But how will they see me if I actually ask for help? Will that change their perception of me?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah. Do you have friends who have asked you for help or you've offered and they accepted and then you felt like they were a burden?

SPEAKER_00 8:57

No, I've had friends ask for help and I have helped them, but I've never felt like they were a burden to me. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Same. I was while you were talking, I was like, never ever. whole one of my friends a burden or a family member or someone I love and cared about and I actually did something for them did I ever say that they were a burden you know it's just interesting how we assume that that's what's going to happen and I wonder I wonder in the families and I think it's this is true in all a lot of families right there is there are some family members that need more support yeah some people may say more needy but you know yeah say what you want to say about your family members I will say in my family there are some family members who need more support maybe more often than others and even those family members I don't know that I've ever said they are a burden yeah So just something for us to think about when I'm working with clients and I'm talking to them about the internal dialogue, the things we tell ourselves about ourselves. It's okay, actually necessary to challenge that thinking. Is this a fact? Is it true? Can I prove that it's true? It's just some evidence to support what I'm thinking because I need to know if this is a thought I should support. continue to hold on to

SPEAKER_00 10:23

yeah

SPEAKER_01 10:23

um is is a thought that i should keep as my own um what if i become a burden who said i'm going to be a burden this is something i've never i help people all the time and i don't call them burdens so why is the one or two times i ask for help why do i tell myself that i'm going to then be seen as a burden

SPEAKER_00 10:42

yeah i agree you know i I hold space for that being an exercise that we use to challenge some of the negative inner thoughts or dialogues that we have. And I also feel like there could potentially be a person listening that may say, well, I've actually had someone call me a bird before, or these things have been said about me. And I think the same practice can apply here too, just because someone says something something about you, it doesn't mean that it's true. And so asking where, where's the evidence, because I'm asking for this, or this is your responsibility. And I know a lot of times, from my perspective, working with clients, especially who have experienced childhood trauma, that's one of the things that I hear often, like, I heard that I was a burden, I heard that, you know, I asked for too much, I was too needy. And I'm like, were you Or were they just not willing to give you the things that you deserved at the time? And so is that your responsibility to feel like to take on that pressure? Or is it really for them to check their own problems, their own way of showing up? And so even as we think about this conversation, and that's a whole different conversation, I think that we can have around just like that. But to bring it back to this, I do think that even if you feel like I've heard that before, for... Check and say, where are the facts to support that I am a burden? And am I asking a person that I trust and that I know will be there for me? Or am I going towards people that have shown me in the past that they're unable to show up for anyone because they struggle to even show up for themselves? So yes, check your inner dialogue, but also pay attention to who you are asking for help. So no, I I've never felt like a friend has been a burden, a family member. If I can help, I can do it. But I think it goes back to my capacity. What do I have the capacity to do in the moment? Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

So then if we check to see what we're doing, capable of caring in a certain moment or a certain season of our life. And we know, you and I both know that that is the first step in the process of reframing what strength can look like for women. Even if your reality is, I know the picture of strength that's been painted for me. I know how I've been moving in my family and my friendships and my career, my job. I know I'm the one, the first one to sign up for, you new projects. I know I'm the first one to decide if I'm going to host family to come over to our home. I know I'm going to be the first one to put together whatever needs to be put together and do all the things. However, I've decided that I am exhausted and I want to say something. I want to speak up. I want to kind of lay down this strength cape that i've been carrying around this s on my chest if you will that i've been wearing i don't want to wear it anymore because i don't like the way my body feels i don't like what my thoughts are like and i listened to this amazing podcast and the ladies on there said that strength can look different for me in this season that i'm in i can create a soft place to land through my friends and through my partner i don't have to continue to try to carry it all so i'm going to check in with myself to see if i can if i'm capable of doing the thing and I decided no I'm not capable so then once I've decided I'm not capable Felicia then what do you suggest that women do next when she's checked her capacity

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Even after you have checked your capacity, I think I just want to pause and I want us to call this out because you've mentioned it before, but it's just an affirmation that we kind of want you to lead with in a sense. And it's just acknowledging that strength isn't silence. Strength isn't isolation. Strength is really about knowing when to let something go. So even after you have checked your capacity, the next thing that you can do is really say like, what do I need to let go? What do I need to speak up and ask for? What community do I need to be in right now? What safe person or safe people do I need to connect with right now just to see in what ways they could support or rally around me or extend a word of encouragement?

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah. So what I hear you saying is that strength is about asking for help. Well, noticing when you need help or support and asking for it and then actually receiving it.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Absolutely. A hundred percent. Allow

SPEAKER_01 15:53

yourself to receive the help, the support.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yes. Because I mean, if we can really be honest with ourselves, like we were never meant to carry it all. Like, think about it. I mean, Easter just passed, you know, everyone has been talking about the resurrection and just like all of the things. And I think that We know that even Jesus had to have help. So, you know, he had people who walked with him, who lifted him up, who even stood beside him. So even when I think about that, it really puts me in a moment of reflection to say like, girl, why do you think that you're supposed to do it alone? Like, why do you think that you're supposed to carry all of this by yourself when you have people who God placed in your life to help you carry whatever burdens it may be whatever worries whatever problems that you are processing and even just like the joy and the good things you have these people here for a reason so stop trying to carry the load on your own

SPEAKER_01 17:05

yeah if you're listening and you feel like well no yeah I get it no Jesus he did have help he had his boys you know however not the bull he did but for me I don't have anybody or I try to call whoever I've asked for help before. I put myself out there and said, I need help. And I was disappointed. So it's just easier for me to be self-sufficient. It's easier for me to depend on me. I get that. I totally get that. Real growth can happen though, when you let people see the real you, not just the one that the person that has it all together. Consider who is actually in your circle in the first place, right? So if you've decided, yeah, I do want to start practicing asking for help. practicing is the key word i want to practice um i'm going to practice testing the waters a little bit

SPEAKER_02 18:02

yeah

SPEAKER_01 18:03

to see if you know i can feel safe enough to say what i need and you're consistently being told no then it's really a good opportunity for you to think about choosing who stays in your circle

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Well, I mean, that is a fact. That is 100% a fact. I do think that So often it is harder for us to ask for help because we are looking in the spaces that we know can't deliver in the way that we need them to. So this is a great moment to reflect and think and ask yourself, who is in my circle that I feel connected to in a way that I can ask for help? And again, the support doesn't have to look like, something big or grand gesture. It really can be something like, hey, I forgot my lunch today. Do you think you can drop me some food off real quick? It can be things like that. And for your friend, it also may look like, oh my God, I can show up for her. I've been waiting to show up for her. I've been waiting to repay her for all of the times that she has extended her help or extended her words of encouragement like now I get the opportunity to do the same it could even be like you know when someone says like hey you need me to go pick your groceries up for you you need me to pick your dry cleaning up for you yes sure hey you want me to come over and help you organize your closet or do some spring cleaning or clean up your garage sure yeah come on over we can make this like a friend's day, like a girl's day. I even think this is something that me and my best friend we share this often like we do memes like we're sharing memes back and forth all day on social media and sometimes the memes are really like you know the person is going through something and it's a whole little situation and I'm like this is me today or she responds with like this is me too but I'm here if you need me what do you need or you know I'm gonna send you something funny just just to let me know like hey I see you I'm here for you and it's also an opportunity for me to say like girl I'm having I'm having a day today like I'm not okay I'm not good support can also look like going to therapy and that's, you know, that's a different conversation for a different day. Um, because I, I don't, I don't think we need to get on that tangent tonight, but yeah, even, you know, I think it moves beyond therapy because again, I can acknowledge that everyone may not benefit from therapy, but there are safe spaces that you may be able to benefit from that may not look like therapy. It could be, uh, yes, exactly. But it doesn't have to be therapy and i think even you spoke on this in our last episode but allowing your partner to take the lead on something even if it doesn't look the same way you would do it

SPEAKER_01 21:39

are you talking to me no No, I'm just, you know. The reality is that is hard to do sometimes when you have a daughter. Oh, yeah. Daddy's girl or not. It's just like, he don't do the hair the same. He don't do all the things you tell yourself. And letting go of the control. One of the keys to being soft.

UNKNOWN 22:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

yes

SPEAKER_01 22:13

yeah just a reminder for me Galatians 6 and 2 says carry each other's burdens in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ so that also means that we don't just need to lean on God but we need to lean on each other like you were sharing about you and your friend right knowing that sometimes Everything don't have to be said, but she, she know what you mean when you say in the mean, when you send the real, she, she gets it. And because sometimes we don't have the words to describe, but we will come across something on social media that is a good depiction of what we're actually going through. It's a part, this scripture reminds me that part of what God wants for us is to not try to do life alone. He didn't design us or create us to try to have to try to carry everything on our own. So when we let people support us, it's not because we don't have enough faith that God is going to get us through that. He's going to give us the strength. We can believe that and find strength in asking for help, find strength. You can get more. I can gain more strength if I lean on you. Yes. I can. I will be stronger. Literally and figuratively speaking. Yes. Yeah. Praying and asking God to send us the right people. When I was thinking about, I'm thinking about that. When I think about, when I said earlier, you sometimes, if you're all, if you're often being told, no, we have to think about, do I have the right people in my life? And I think it's okay to pray. I know it's okay to pray and ask God to send you the right people for whatever it is. whatever the need is that you have.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I agree. And trusting that he'll do that for us. So this week, if you've been feeling like no one has checked in on you, I want you to ask yourself, have I made space for anyone to? Because sometimes we shut the door without even realizing it. When you have been rehearsing, I'm good. I'm okay. I'm all right. I'm good. I'm all right. I'm okay. I got it. All is well. All the things that we say on repeat is like our default. Yes. For some, not all, but for some, in some situations and some relationships and some friendships, some families, because you said it so much, people just trust that you're okay. Not that they aren't thinking about you, but Felicia might be the last person I check on because every time I text her, she's fine. She don't really have much going on. So yeah, I think she's going to be all right.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Yes, no, I agree. So to recap all of the ways in which we kind of, you know, reframe the idea of what, you know, support and strength could look like, or the ways in which we could ask for support, what I'm hearing you say, and what I've heard us say throughout our conversation is that sometimes the support start with you, like it starts with yourself And so that looks like checking in with yourself, um, making sure that we're not ignoring our own needs while meeting everybody else's, um, that can be support. It looks like saying no when you need to not over committing. And I think one of the, the big aha moments or takeaways for me was just like the more that you practice receiving the more normal it will start to feel so like again it goes back to some of the small ways in which you know I mentioned we can ask for support or help so it doesn't have to be like you know hey we're opening the floodgates we're just cracking the door a little bit to say like Do you mind picking up lunch for me? Do you mind picking up the baby for me this evening? Do you mind like

SPEAKER_01 26:15

helpful?

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Yeah, just small ways in which you are practicing and like getting the feel for what it feels like to ask for help from the right person. person or the right people and community and not just out here asking for help from anybody that you set

SPEAKER_01 26:36

yourself up for disappointment

SPEAKER_00 26:37

exactly

SPEAKER_01 26:39

recently I've had to do I had to do that not because I wanted to but because I needed to it's funny because you say practice and they're small and small things and I think about the women who showed up for me to them the things they were doing were so it was small girl What you mean? Yeah. I'm a help to me. I'm boohoo crying because it was huge. The help they gave me was amazing. priceless yeah I couldn't if I couldn't have paid I couldn't have come up with an amount to pay them yeah if they would have accepted money from me so to your point to our point your people your people the people you prayed for got to send to you the circle that you have carefully curated for yourself and we'll talk about that in another episode how to create a healthy support circle for yourself those people they are waiting

SPEAKER_02 27:37

They're

SPEAKER_01 27:38

waiting for you to call. They're waiting for you to text and say, girl, I'm not okay. Come over. They're waiting for the opportunity to pour into you and to show up for you. Let them, let them.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Yes. I love that. So, all right, ladies, before we go, let's take a pause together, a rest stop before you step back into your day.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

You weren't meant to carry it all by yourself. Strength isn't just pushing through, it's learning when to receive. Let people love you. Let God hold on to what's been weighing on you. So this week, I was just thinking that this week, when I think about what I want us to reflect on or something we can reflect on, the people who would say, like you mentioned earlier, I've been told no too many times. I've been called a burden and I don't really want to ask for help. I think I'm afraid I'm gonna be rejected. I'm afraid I'm gonna be disappointed. Where in your life have you been disappointed? Take some time to write about it. Where have you really been disappointed or where have you been feeling rejected even when you really needed it? That's not gonna be an easy question to ask yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

I was like, wow, that's a tough one. That's one that you're gonna have to spend some time with for sure. Yeah. So Felicia, what's one small step they can take? So this week, you can say yes to one small offer of help. You get to decide what that is. It can be a favor. It can be a check in, a kind word. I just want you to or we just really want you to let yourself receive it without apologizing or over explaining or even feeling all of the grief that comes up. Just let yourself receive the help that you deserve this week. Yeah, that's good. So you, we just want to leave you all with something that we hope will stick as we continue these conversations in the podcast, but also as we kind of wrap up this episode, we just want you to know that you don't have to do life on your own. Let this be the week that you stop proving and you start receiving.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. stop proving and start receiving all right y'all if this episode spoke to you share with a friend tag us or just leave us a review let us know what you want to hear more of we want to make sure that more women like you know that this podcast exists you are not alone you do not have to stay in survival mode you don't have to try to always figure it out do what you can to take care of yourself first and don't forget to trust your journey we'll talk to you soon Bye.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

That's it for today's conversation. We're so glad you joined us. If

SPEAKER_01 30:42

this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to subscribe, share with a friend or leave us a review. It helps more women like you find this space.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Join us next time for another honest conversation. Until then, take care of yourself and trust your journey.