The Truth About Why Personal Growth Feels So Uncomfortable

In this episode of Trusting Her Journey, we’re talking about things we’re unlearning in this season.

Not fixing yourself.
Not reinventing your life.
But gently letting go of beliefs, habits, and expectations that no longer fit the season you’re in.

This conversation is for the woman who’s realizing that what once worked for her doesn’t feel aligned anymore, and that maybe that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It might mean something is changing.

We talk about:

• What it looks like to unlearn behaviors rooted in people-pleasing, obligation, and old versions of yourself.
• Why clarity around your values matters more than keeping the peace.
• Letting go of FOMO, over-functioning, and forcing yourself into spaces that no longer fit.
• How unlearning can feel uncomfortable before it feels freeing
  Renewing your mind, not by becoming someone new, but by honoring who you are now.

We also offer a gentle rest stop for the week ahead:

• A reflection question to help you notice what you no longer want to carry
• An invitation to choose the simpler option when you can, without guilt or over-explaining

This isn’t a how-to episode. It’s a real conversation between two women navigating growth, alignment, faith, and changing capacity in real time. If you’ve been sensing a shift but couldn’t quite name it, this episode might help you put words to it.

New episodes drop every week.

🔗 Resources & Announcements

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Stay tuned for ways to connect with us off the podcast and meet other listeners on the journey.

Let’s Stay Connected

Follow the show on Instagram → @trustingherjourneypodcast
Follow Felicia → @soulguidedhealing_wellness
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Looking for Therapy?

Christalyn is a Licensed Professional Counselor in South Carolina. She offers faith-integrated therapy for women navigating burnout, boundaries, and emotional exhaustion.
→ carolinacounselingsc.com

Felicia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Virginia, Georgia, and Texas,  She provides trauma-informed, somatic-based therapy for women ready to heal and reconnect with themselves.
→ soulguidedhealing...

Transcript

Recording Started

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I would probably tell that younger version of myself, it is okay to enjoy life without other people. You don't have to wait to do the things that you want to do. There was a time where I didn't want to go to a restaurant if I didn't have someone go with me. There was a time that I wouldn't want to go do an activity or I wouldn't want to go to a show, an event, or whatever without someone else doing it with me because I just wanted to feel like I had someone there. Welcome to the Trust in Her Journey podcast. I'm Felicia.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

And I'm Crystalin.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

This podcast is a safe space for women who are caring a lot, women who are trying to trust themselves again while managing the weight of their roles and responsibilities.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

We know what it's like to feel stressed again because you're constantly showing up for everyone and putting your own needs last. Here we have honest conversations about the solid struggles many women face.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

We're so glad you're here. In every episode, we'll talk about the real challenges women navigate, whether it's juggling, work, and family, carving out time for yourself, or learning to trust your instincts again.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

You'll hear us share personal stories and lessons from our experience to help you trust your path and rethink what peace and balance actually looks like for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Our goal is to guide you through the hard moments with honest conversations about boundaries, self-care, and leaning on your faith for strength.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, unseen, or unsure about how to care for yourself while caring for everyone else, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Just a quick heads up: this podcast isn't a substitute for working with a licensed counselor or therapist, but don't worry, if you need that kind of support, we've got some resources for you in the show notes. Let's start the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

We need a theme song, Felicia.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I know, right? I know you want me on vocals, but I can't this week because I'm let me stop lying. I ain't on nobody's vocals.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

You're gonna be a do-wop pop girl in the back. Welcome to Trusting Her. I don't know how I go. Let me just let me stop girl. Stop. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing, I'm doing really good, actually. Um snow cane.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Oh yeah, it was so nice. First of all, the videos, y'all. Listen, if I could share those videos she sent me on Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

When I tell you, I cried laughing, like literally, I was screaming laughing because I am like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Everything was happening, way too much was happening. Yes, a good time, just being free and letting just literally well. I didn't let my hair out because I'm wearing yeah, no, not in this backup, but just let figures letting my hair down, yeah, big kids. Um, we have a hill in the front and our backyard, so we did one heel one day and we did the next and another heel the next. I love that. It was good, and then my husband even encouraged me to just kind of just lay out in the snow, like my baby was making snow angels, and I never do that. Yeah, just because I'm the one always taking the pictures. But yeah, yesterday he was like, Okay, you can come out and hear what I think, yeah. I will. I love that. It was so peaceful for about 10 minutes, and I got a little emotional and I remembered that I was actually grounding myself, right? It was a totally unintentional grounding moment, yeah. Um, but just being one with the snow and then the grass underneath the snow and noticing how cool it felt and how cold it was and how soft the snow felt, and just it was so so good. And I'm so glad that I listened to him.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

I don't listen to him all the time, but I'm glad you listened to him too, because you needed that, like you truly needed that. You know, that actually brought me back to when we went um snowboarding a few weeks ago, so we didn't get as much snow this time. Um, but when we went snowboarding a few weeks ago, wow, the fall definitely hurt the body. I felt it days later. It was one moment that I was laying there, like, it's cold, but this feels so good. Like I felt so relaxed, so I am so happy you got to experience that yesterday. Just the laugh alone. That is what I I loved hearing. Like, I heard you laughing, and I mean it sounded like you were laughing to the point you were crying, which made me which made me laugh because you were geeking out, like you were having a good time, and it it brought me joy to see you have so much fun with your family, and then I was just laughing at Anthony. I don't know what he was doing, but tell him he gave me a good laugh for um Saturday. So, yes, I mean, you know what? I am so glad that you also shared that story because the part that you know where you said like he told you late, just lay down with us, like spend some time with us. It kind of brings it back to this conversation today, like what we're talking about today and the topic. If you all are looking at the title, um, it's really around like things that we're unlearning in this season. And one thing that you mentioned was like, I am so used to taking the pictures or being the one capturing the memories while you're still present. You're not a hundred percent present because you're like, let me get the best angle, let me get the right shot. And he reminded you like, it is okay for you to do something different in this season. It's okay for you to enjoy this snowstorm. So I'm excited to talk about the conversation because I feel like so many of us are in this space, and I am in this space. I can speak for myself. I'm in this space where I am truly learning things about myself while also trying to unlearn things that no longer serve me. So this should be a good conversation.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah. The unlearning.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yeah. The part that we don't talk about enough, um, if if we can be honest. And that's what has kind of come up for me lately, is we often have conversations about healing. Like this is what it should feel like when you're healing. This is what you'll notice on the other side of your journey. Once you tap into this part of your work, you'll recognize this about yourself. But what we don't talk about enough is how challenging it can be to unlearn things that you have, like, I won't even say things, behaviors and ways you have been operating out of for so long. And recently, for me, one of the aha moments that taught me, like, or I guess it would say it brought me to this point of like, oh, you really are unlearning this. The other day I was just kind of like, you know what? I am no longer in the space where I'm willing to do things just because it feels good for someone else. Tell us more about that, Felicia. So I am, I won't say I've, well, I don't know. Maybe I have been this way for a while, but I will say there are points or there were times in my life where I would go places, I would do things, I will respond to phone calls, I would accept, you know, opportunities or all of the things simply because I felt like, you know what, this may look good to other people, this may feel good for other people. And I don't want to provide too much detail because I know someone may listen and I don't want them to assume that it's about them. But it it was a conversation I had recently where someone wanted me to go somewhere, and I was just like, nah, I'm not really feeling it. But this other part of me was just kind of like, you should go. You never go anywhere with them. Like you, you know, it's always something that comes up. And while I was at the gym, I just had like a moment of, girl, no, you don't want to go. You've never wanted to go to that location. That's not what you want to do. Why are you forcing yourself to do things that just don't feel right for you? Why are you forcing yourself to go in spaces that make you feel uncomfortable? Like you've never wanted to go there before, it's never been on your bucket list. So, why are you gonna go just to make someone else feel better?

SPEAKER_00 9:32

So that's the why, though, right? That's the why. Yeah, the why is I'm trying to make them feel better. I don't want them to think whatever I think they might possibly think about me because I'm not gonna. Who does she think she is? And she don't, I'm inviting her, and she don't ever want to know, and um, what kind of friend is she, or yeah, all sorts of things that we say or tell ourselves, or just we have a conversation, a two-way conversation. One person present, right? But we get we have a bad size of the conversation because we just know we think we know what the other person is gonna say, feel, or think based on the response. Yeah, yeah. And it is unfortunate that a lot of us still struggle with that because um it just it just keeps us from being able to be the most true version of ourselves, yes, and I'm gonna be honest about what it is I like and what I don't like, the places I want to go and the places I could care less about going. And that is not me judging y'all because y'all still want to do that, but I just don't want to, or I don't want to anymore, right? Because let's be honest, a part of it is this is how you used to do, Felicia. Remember? Yep. You used to want to hang with us, now you got your little husband and your kids, and you don't want to be with us no more.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Listen, I don't know what she's talking about, but I'm just saying, no, but I'm always gonna take the trip if I get some time away from the husband and the kids. I love them down, but listen, I'm okay. But I do love that you even mentioned, like, those are some of the thoughts that kind of you know popped up in my head. But after I recognize the why, the unlearning piece for me was you don't have to do something that no longer makes you feel good. Like that's that's that's the part that I'm starting to unlearn, and it feels uncomfortable to even be in that space of navigating that.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Yeah, I think it does feel uncomfortable until it starts to feel good, yeah. Until it until you start to realize, oh this is nice, yeah. Or I'm proud of me because I said no to something that I normally would have said yes, I would have talked myself into doing. I think it's really important. I don't even I wasn't gonna go here, but I think it I will go here because it's necessary. We have to be really clear about what our values are at different seasons at different points in our life. Because if you don't, y'all our values are like um a lantern, right? Or um little lights along, you know how you have the little lights along the side while people lead up to their home, right? It got it's our guiding, our way to guide. It's a guide for us. It's a way for us, our values are a way for us to know what's the best thing for us to do. Yes. And if you aren't clear about what you value, i.e. what's important to you right now in this season of your life, then you are just gonna be really, really uncertain about what is the right thing to do, or what's what should I say yes or no to? Yeah, what direction should I go? Who should I talk to? What trips should I take? What shows should I watch? What relationship should I in?

SPEAKER_02 12:57

What environment should I be in? What jobs should I actually entertain? Yeah, because when you brought up values, the conversations that I typically have with people in session, they automatically want to work on values as it relates to relationships and not like internal. Like this is for you too. This is a part of, I like to say our values are truly a part of like our self-love experience in the work that we do. If you are unclear or unsure on your values, how do you show up to love yourself in the way that you want to? You don't know, you have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

No, some of us use other people's values, value, society, culture, our culture, and that's just how we decide whether what we're doing is the right thing or whether or whether we should be doing more. But if that is how you're living, then you're always going to you're always gonna feel um uncomfortable, misaligned, unnecessary heaviness, a lot overwhelmed sometimes because you don't have a clear sense of self. And that is really, really important for for us as women. I mean, men too, but we ain't talking to them right now.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

We not we're glad that you're here if you're here, but we're not.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

What actually matters to me in this season? And does my current capacity allow me to do the things that matter to me in this season? Do my resources allow me to do the things that matter to me in this season? Are the women that I'm connected to and relationship with, are they supporting me as I'm trying to do the things that I'm destined to? I'm trying to be obedient to um do in this season. Because sometimes the truth is you can pray and talk with God and feel like you trust God. We I've been encouraging y'all to do that with every episode. We are wanting to strengthen our relationship with God, and you can know that that's what God is what something God wants you to do. And if you're not connected to the right people, then they will, in one way or another, try to pull you away from that, talk you out of it. What what why are you doing that? Why are you going there? Why are you talking about why you're talking about leaving your job? Whatever the thing is. Um we want to be really clear about the things that we value, the things that are important to us so we can be the most true version of ourselves. And I think the other part of the unlearning for me is I have to un I have had to alert that I don't have to seek counsel from people who we don't have the same value. They didn't even similar. Yeah. I have to unattach myself to people who we are still friends is because we've always been friends. Yeah. That God cares about alignment. He don't just care about oh, I got all my girls with me. Right. Even if they are girls we go to church on a Sunday or y'all go to brunch every week or whatever, that's fine. But are you all aligned? Do y'all have some of the same things in common that are important to you? Or are you just staying connected to these people because they're familiar?

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah. No, that's good. So that even leads to when when we think about alignment, I'm curious to hear from you what's something that you stop forcing yourself to enjoy that you just maybe no longer enjoy, or you once enjoyed it, but now you're just like, you know what, that's not for me. Um couple's trip.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

I love taken a lot, and I've had such a great time. I've met some amazing people. We've done things that I probably maybe wouldn't have not have done if I wasn't with the group because maybe I just wouldn't even thought about it. Right. Yeah. Um considered it. So I got some amazing memories and some beautiful photos, and I am done with the portrait. What I mean by that is I don't mean like just us and another couple hanging out in the biggest, but I mean like the big group. You know what I mean? The multiple couples. Yeah, yeah. You gotta get there quick to pick the room you want and all the things.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Yeah, yeah, no, that I don't do that and be fighting over who got the bigger room with the best bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

We have fun, even the planning would be fun, like picking the meals and just the ladies doing stuff without the guys, and those were a great time, and I just don't have the capacity to hold space for all those people anymore at the same time. At the same, it's just the at the same time thing for me. Yeah. Um, so I don't I don't want to figure out how to be okay with enjoying it.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

When I think about like hearing you say that, I am I can do both with the again, it goes back to with the right group of people for me. Um I am okay with it just being us two because we know our vibes, we know our styles, like we're just we can do whatever. Like we can just get up and say, let's go here, let's go there. And then I I also enjoy going on group trips. They don't necessarily have to be couple trips, but I am very intentional with who I want to be a part of that experience because I just I no longer have, for me, I no longer have the space for chaos and um gosh, extra energy, loud energy. Like I once was a person where I could like maneuver in those spaces. It would be like, okay, I'm cool. And not just trips. I think this is uh across the board. You know, I have I once was in a space where I was like, I don't want to miss that. I don't want to miss that event. I don't want to miss that party. I don't want to, like, I want to go. It seems like it's gonna be a good time. People are talking about it. And now I'm I don't force myself to go to those spaces anymore. Like I could care less if I'm in a bar. Like I'll go and I'll enjoy myself and have a good time, but I'm also not like I need to be there every weekend. Um, and I'm learning that I, as we talked about in the last um episode, I can become easily overstimulated by a lot of things happening.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

And because of that, I'm learning that I don't have to force myself into spaces that overstimulate me. And that could be from the energy that's around, that could be from the loud noises, all of the extra bumping and stuff. Girl, um, I don't have the space for that. Like, I I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

How much I used to enjoy that. Now I'm like, there's no, you there's no yeah, like I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

I don't have to go.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I'm okay. Let me out, let me watch the videos of y'all hanging out in there. I want to see the pictures, I want to see the thing. Yeah, I don't want to be there.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

No, that's that's good.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

The other thing too is because part of it is I hanging out late. Your girl.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Wait, what? I don't understand that because Miss Ma'am, you be up to two and three o'clock in the jamas, okay. You don't like to be outside, outside.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Outside outside. No, but I can stay awake a long time, yeah. But to be like out doing all the things late. Yeah, yeah, no. Now that if I had my nap, that's different now. So now if I'm invited to something and I know it's gonna start late, I I take a nap. I just do because I don't want to be like the one that's like, okay, I'm ready to go. I'm tired. So I'm gonna have a rest. But yeah, being out late is not, I don't have to be. Um, but I can be if I yeah, if I had my nap.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Yeah, I think what we're both saying in different like through different experiences is we're unlearning the idea that we have to show up in a specific type of way just because it aligned with us in a previous season of life. So, like maybe before you enjoyed the couple's trips, but now you're like, you know what? This is not where I'm at right now. There, I Have no issue with couples trips. I'm just not right there. And for me, it's I have no issue with people enjoying themselves, going out, doing all of the things, but sometimes I become overstimulated in those spaces, so I don't want to go all the time. It's not that I won't go, but that's not my go-to thing. So if that's just like you, where you're like, hey, the people that are in my circle or that I surround myself with, they enjoy things that I no longer enjoy. It is okay for you to unlearn this idea that you always have to be present with them. That FOMO, it is what it is, girl. Look at the videos, ask them about the stories, but it is okay if you don't show up in that space because it's just not who you are right now.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yeah, it's it's not. When how do you think? Well, I have two questions. I guess the first question I will ask is what do you think or what would you tell your younger self about um FOMO, right? The fear of missing out. Um and I can imagine because I know for me, younger me would not have thought that I would not want to just be doing all the things. Um with every like whatever I'm invited to, I just go. Right? Whatever, especially if there's no no no kids not gonna be there. Yeah, yeah. Younger me would have never thought, wouldn't have wouldn't have ever thought that I would have the mindset that I have right now about wanting to just yeah, be outside.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Yeah. Um for me, I would probably tell that younger version um of myself, it is okay to enjoy life without other people. You don't have to wait to do the things that you want to do. There was a time where I didn't want to go to a restaurant if I didn't have someone go with me. There was a time that I wouldn't want to go do an activity or I wouldn't want to go to a show, an event, or whatever without someone else doing it with me because I just wanted to feel like I had someone there. And as I have matured and learned things about myself, I'm not gonna wait to experience life because other people's schedules may not align with the event or the thing that I want to do. So I I've been doing it like the past few years, I've been doing things that I want to do. I've gone to restaurants that I wanted to go to, sat at a table, bought my books, bought my, you know, just doing things whereas before I would be afraid of judgment. I would be afraid of what will people think? Do I look lonely? Now I'm like, girl, go into that restaurant by yourself, enjoy yourself, go to that show, go to a class. I've actually um this year I've started doing this thing where each month I want to try out something that's been on a bucket list for me. It can be something as small as like, you know, last month we did snowboarding. We've done that now for the past two years. That was a group activity, but this month I want to go to a pottery class. I'm signing up for a pottery class, you know. Whatever the thing is that I want to do, if people can come, great. But if they can't, I got to go. I gotta do something. I can't let my joy wait on other people.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

That Felicia, that's really good. I'm glad you're in that space. Thank you. You can do things on your own. I um I I just encourage every woman to experience that. Take yourself to lunch, take yourself to see the movie, take yourself on the trip. I mean, obviously, there are certain things where you have to have certain safety measures in place, right? Um, but you know, it's in your location. Yeah. For me, I the first time I traveled by myself was for work. And that's when I realized I could travel by myself. This is nice. I'm gonna do this again. Yeah. To be able to just get up when you want, and uh you don't have to ask, y'all, what y'all think about this restaurant? And I love being able to get together with the people that I love. Um but you need to be able to enjoy your own company. I often tell my clients who are dating that we have to be careful even with having expectations from the people we are dating. We want them to do things for us that we don't do for ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

This is something to be mindful of. Care for yourself, how you treat yourself is important, and to have the expectation that someone else is supposed to um do these things for you and you won't do them for yourself or don't.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Yeah, that's wild. Yeah. And I think that's what made me realize like, how can I expect people to show up in a specific type of way when I don't even know how to show up in that way for myself? But that goes back to what you mentioned before, the values, the things that we actually value, how we show up for ourselves, will then determine how we want to show up in other spaces. Okay, so um, I I think that could also play into. So, what is something that you realize you don't actually have to do anymore? I know you've talked about the couple strips and the staying out late, but what's something you realize like, I actually don't have to do this anymore?

SPEAKER_00 28:03

There's a few things. Um, the thing that's top of mind is I don't have to pretend like I've been so busy all day. Um, working at home, a lot of people have a lot of opinions about that. And I know with COVID, a little bit more people than ever work from home. But there is this, especially if you have a family at home that you're responsible for, partly responsible to take care of, or if you live by yourself, but you know, you have parents who depend on you or whatever. Um when you work from home, people just think you they just don't think you busy somebody.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

I know that's real.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

They feel like it's just it every single night, or you can still meet us out wherever you're going tonight. Um, or and so part of me used to think like, okay, well, let me make sure I say, you know, how many clients I had today and what time I started working today and what time I was gonna be done, and the fact that I had notes and I had this meeting and I had that say all the things because they're asking me to do something and I'm tired or I just don't want to do it. And so, but if I say I'm busy, or if I sound like I'm busy, or if I appear to be busy, then they'll understand my no.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that you know, I'm not even gonna lie, I I appreciate you saying that because there is this um toxic relationship that I feel we all have with productivity. There's a space where we define our worth and how we're showing up and what we're capable of doing based off of how productive we are in the day, how many goals we get checked off on our to-do list. All of those things start to cloud how we move through life. So hearing you say that is just like, oh, that's a reminder of like, I'm unlearning this toxic relationship that I have with productivity and making sure that I do all of the habits because you know that's what they say on the TikTok girl. If you're not doing this, are you having a productive day? So I appreciate you saying that. And for me, I am I think I realized that I no longer have to go along with things just to keep the peace. And another one that has really been like um a highlight for me is that I no longer have to convince myself that I'm fine when I'm not. Like I am saying now, um I'm not good, or that bothered me, or I didn't like the way this person approached this situation, or hey, I didn't like the way you spoke to me when you shared this. Like, I am learning to say those things, whereas before I would mask it, I would say, like, oh, it's okay, whatever. I just I don't want to argue with them. I don't want this to be a fallout, I want to keep the peace. Never like, girl, you have to do that. Like that is not it. Say how you feel. Um, and really stand in that, stand on that. Like, if people feel away, hopefully you are surrounding yourself with the folks that can have a conversation with you if they feel away or we can talk through it. But for now, I'm just no longer okay with saying I'm fine when I'm not. If I'm sick, I'm sick. Like, I don't feel like doing that.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Um, true version of yourself. Yes, yeah, because you're being honest, and I I'm seeing that a lot because I'm hoping that it will resonate with some of our listeners because we do hear a lot of talk about being the best version of yourself, and that's that's nice, but sometimes I'm not trying my best. I I'm of the yeah, I'm of the school of thought that everybody is not doing their best all the time. Yeah, everybody is not working hard all the time, and I'm not going to judge you for that at all. Y'all always doing your best and not for not working hard all the time because I do not know why. I don't know what has happened, I don't know how you feel physically, mentally, emotionally. So if you're not doing your best, that's fine. That's okay. That is fine. It is absolutely okay to thine own self be true. That is so important because if you if I'm always lying and saying I'm okay when I'm not, how are you gonna be the friend that I claim I need? Yeah, how how if even the call I got right before we started recording, right? I had a moment, I mean like a few seconds to decide if I was gonna share with you the content of that call. And I had to decide do I want her to be my friend and support me so we can move forward, or do I want to try to keep it to myself and then hope and pray that I can be okay while we record? Why did I do that? Why? Not saying everything has to be shared, but when you are intentional about the people you connect yourself to, the people that you align yourself to, then you can trust that the Holy Spirit is gonna guide you and what you should share and not share, and guide your friend too, and what how they can support you. Yeah, and it did. So I'm glad I said something.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Yes, I am too.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

I am I have I'm thinking about the scripture that talks about renewing your mind, um, because a lot of us hear that and think that it only means like changing negative thoughts and negative behaviors. But to me, that is so much bigger. Um renewing your mind sometimes just like leveling up the way you see yourself, updating what you believe, um, how you think. Some of us are still operating in old ways of thinking. Um even if I'm for a practical example, it could be something along the lines of well, um, you want to start a business, and but in your family, you gotta work a nine to five. That's what you did, that's what your mama did, your grandmama, everybody else. And there's nothing wrong with that, having that type of security, but you feel led to, and you prayed and you fasted and you talked to God and all the things, right? You feel like that to honor the true version of yourself, you need to start this business. And other things are working out, and it looks like that's what's gonna be happening. But there's this part of you that that old thinking that you just won't take the step, take the one step. You don't even have to be a leap of faith. Sometimes it's just a small baby step. And we wonder why we are feeling this heaviness or why we can't get comfortable. Um, and it don't have to be about a business. Sometimes it's a relationship, it could be about a lot of different things. When we renew our minds, it sometimes it's about knowing that I can move slow or I can take the leap of faith. I can rest if I notice that's what I need, or I can go and spend time with my friends because I know that's what I need. I don't have to live or do life at the same pace that I once did because I was young and I didn't have no kids and now I got a couple kids and a husband and all these responsibilities. So I don't it's okay if I don't want to do those things. This is a, I think, even a more of a spiritual thing that we even realized, at least when we were talking about having this conversation, because honoring who we are, honoring where we are, recognizing what our values are, staying connected and in close relationship with God about what's important right now, that's an act of obedience. And I believe that God wants to continue to grow us that way. Um He don't it's not a requirement for us to stay the same forever. So what what brings you peace right now in this season of your life? What brings you joy right now? Is it simpler? Is it a simpler life? Is it slowing down, or is it like, yeah, I'm gonna be doing all the things, I'm gonna be taking trips and I'm gonna be speaking at that if that's where you are. That's great. Just be in alignment and honor where you are. Um we just don't know who God is shaping us to be, who he who he's shaping us to become. And it is such a beautiful thing to be in a place where you're like, you know what, I'm not doing this perfectly, but I I feel so much more close to God, and I feel like, yeah, I'm I'm in a good space and we need a place. Right.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

No, I love that. Now, if you all notice throughout this episode, we did not give you tips in terms of like, do this. Number one, do this. This is really a conversation that we wanted to have so you all could not only get a glimpse of us experiencing life, but it also positioned you to really think about hey, what am I currently doing that no longer aligns with me? How am I currently showing up that I no longer want to do or show up as? Like, this is your time and your opportunity to really sit down and think about that. And I do believe that this builds on last week's rest stop question. Like, what is draining me? What no longer serves me? This is then the next step that you can sit down and process that and then discover, okay, so what things am I currently trying to unlearn or I will unlearn because it's draining me and I don't want any parts of it. Right. Okay, so as you all know, we do this thing where we provide you with a rest stop. It's kind of some fuel for you as you head into the new week. So we want to give you a question to think about. Again, it can build on the question from last week, but what is one thing you're realizing you don't actually want anymore? And then we want you to follow up with what feels good to me right now. What feels good to want right now? This is not about you fixing, this is not about you judging, it's truly about you just noticing where are you at right now?

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Yeah, one small step we can all take this week. I know I'm definitely taking it. Um, is to give yourself permission to choose the simpler option. Choose the simpler option. You know, if you want to fix two separate meals because your kids don't want what you want, do it. And if you don't, don't tell them to make a sandwich and let that be enough. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

We want to remind you if you're changing, remember, you're not broken, you're just growing, and growing doesn't always look loud. Sometimes it's those quiet moments of peace. We hope you remember that as you navigate through your journey, but also remember to trust your journey and trust this process that you are currently in or the journey that you're on right now. That's it for today's conversation. We're so glad you joined us.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to subscribe, share with a friend, or leave us a review. It helps more women like you find this space.

SPEAKER_02 40:07

Join us next time for another honest conversation. Until then, take care of yourself and trust your journey.